Monday, July 15, 2013

Dont give up, just take a break...

Dear ....

It is funny how we always seem to get sooo fed up with the ordinary little things in life, like our homes and environment, friends and family. Yet should you take away those things you realize just how special they really are to you, and that you actually miss them or it.

I often find that though it be good to take a break from the constant buzz of life all around  you, it is always good to get back in and live it. Sometimes when things get hard or difficult we do need to take a little bit of a break, take a step back and take a breath, so that we can get  a new and fresh perspective on what we are all about.

I don't mean to try and know all the answers in life but I must say that  during a time of confinement, I would feel lonely, maybe a little bit lost. But I always come out the other side feeling refreshed and
life feels worth living again.

Recently I took a trip to Pretoria to visit my dad. It really was soooo refreshing getting away from everyday life. Seeing people I love but haven't seen for a while. Making memories...
It also gave me a chance to miss those I see every day, and though I missed them some what fierce...
I was also glad to get away abit and just reflect on what is happening in my life on the moment and what I want do about it...

I'm back home now, and feeling good. was nice to be away but it's also nice to be home.
Basically if you feel like its all over and you just wanna lay down and die... don't. all you need is to take a step back heck take the day of and just go walk in a garden, don't think of your problems instead reflect on the good things that's happened to you. look around and search for as many things as you can find that is pretty or just intresting to you. You are just as pretty or intresting as that thing.

Some time we need a tempory break from our circumstances, just remember to come back into them and deal with them, don't ever give up hope. Your circumstances aint worth it.

Monday, March 4, 2013

Hi Readers,

My Apologies for not writing for such along time. So much has happened in the mean time.

So where to begin... firstly I think I should mention I decided to write it like a diary/dairy(mmm:/)
I came back from zambia, and now I'm home sweet home... I wanted to go back but I cant leave my heart behind. lol. For home is where your heart is and mine is with Jason. My one and only.

Sadly my heart also got broken this year as i had to say goodbye to a dear friend and much beloved pet.

                                                                      Brakkie
 
I really miss her though!!!

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Africa, God speaks to Africa as a child...



Africa,        

Last night you were in my dreams

Innocent, humble, dirty, hungry, hurting
You laid on the side of a worn out track,
You fragile little child, thrown aside like a ragged doll.

Abandoned you lay in the dust, lips cracked open by the sun,
streaks of dried up tears, tell tales of forgotten hope. Your eyes
deeply sunken in your beautiful little face - portray your broken
weary trust.

I reached out to you and you seemed to shrink as you cowered away.
You hissed at my touch... Yet gently oh so gently I lifted you up, laid
you in my lap.
I cleaned and dressed your oozing wounds, I cried for you then,
as I whispered comfort almost too softly to hear into your oh
so tiny ear... I gave you water and wiped your tears...

I dreamt of feeding you, healing you, protecting you.
I dreamt of adopting you as my own, for you are my own...
I dreamt of teaching you, guarding you, never leaving you.

Africa today I dream for you...
I dream a dream
To prosper you and not to harm you..
I dream for all your dreams to come true...

As you find yourself in Me and My everlasting LOVE and TRUTH...

from your loving: Abba Father


Thursday, July 28, 2011

Life, fears and dealing with it...

Hey there!
So every once in a while someone finds out about something that terrifies you, or you find out that your friend is afraid of something like clowns or ants, even thunder and then you mock that person or that someone mocks you about it... Or tells you to grow up, but it is easier said than done...

A very wise woman (my lovely mother) once told me that usually that which irritates you most in someone else is usually something you detest in yourself, and that it is kind of like a mirror reflecting back to you... So careful next time you get annoyed at someone, for you might just be annoyed with yourself.

Anyway what is fears, fear is a stressful feeling that puts pressure on a person or animal and is commonly related to anxiety, it is usually connected to an incident in your past, and depending on how traumatic that incident or experience is could depend on wether it be called a phobia, just little fear or anxiety...

For example I hate thunder and lightning because when I was little my grandfather use to get us all worked up about it, also loud noises and flashing lights make me feel threatened and alone, see that is a fear but not really a good example,

Anna got stuck in an elevator during a power cut, it was dark and cold in the elevator and Anna was all alone... Suddenly Anna felt like she was suffocating and she felt cold with fear, she was having an anxiety attack. You see Anna was kidnapped when she was small on a dark stormy night, and left in a cellar alone for quite sometime... this triggered the anxiety attack when she was older and has planted a seed of fear in her heart...

Fear could also be shown in the form of respect, as we fear God. Someone once told me God speaks with a voice like thunder, and I replied that I would run away if He spoke to me like that, but come to think of it, I also respect God greatly to command such awesome power... to command lightning and thunder!!!

I used to be afraid of alot of things, blood, spiders,bees, thunder,pain and dark confined spaces... and yeah sure i still get abit shaky sometimes when I'm in a such a position to experience the above mentioned things, but I've learnt that yeah it's scary but if I don't learn to accept it in my life... Then how could I ever lead a normal life, I'd be to scared to go anywhere never mind stay alone on my own....

I must say, knowing in my heart there is a God who controls everything and Who is in total command of my life and everything I fear, I find myself in so much awe of Him that when I fix my eyes on Him and just focus on Him then I feel at peace and safe...

I believe in Jesus Christ my Saviour, I acknowedge that He is the Son of God and that He died and rose again, I accept His gift of life and I will forever be in awe of His mighty Name...

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Night night, sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite...

I actually have no idea what to write, I don't actually think I'm a writer, never mind a good one... but I'll let you be the judge of that...

My whole life I've kind of wandered around with feelings I can't explain, but of-course I'll try...
It has always seemed like I'm just floating about, seeing and hearing things as if it is al immagination, for some reason I feel abit detached from this world and like I see no real purpose in life it self, I really don't understand things and how anyone could really know what or whom is right or wrong.

 What makes one feel lonely in a crowd and what makes the world go round, I love being here in zambia but I must say I really miss home, where is home though, I don't feel like I belong any where anymore. I wish I knew all the answers to all the questions in life, but I don't...

I can't say what I want for what if its all just unreal, ever felt like the past was just a dream? Well sometimes things just seem so unreal like I'm not me, sometimes my own actions seem so far away so de-tached from me, sometimes it feels like my thoughts are not my own , I know it's weird and you think I'm crazy...

Well maybe I'm just tired and babbeling on about things that doesn't really make sense...

O well good night, sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite...

Monday, April 4, 2011

I just wanna be...

Sometimes I feel like my only purpose in life is to be  a piece of God's ultimate peace in the lifes of the people surounding me... to be something they could hold onto when the chaos of their lifes turns them from what they belief in. To be a beacon of light that points them back to their faith when the world becomes a dark and lonely place...

Some days when you are so troubled by the coming and goings of the world and you are destracted by the obstacles of tomorrow, I will not add more worries or troubles. No! I will be still, and let you know He is God, and I will be peaceful so that you will be surrounded by the peace He has given me...

When storms rage and the earth quakes I will not fear for He is near, he has been here since the beginning and He will still be here in the end. I will not let my trust in Him be shaken , for He is greater than that which I fear.

He has provided for me over and over, I shall not be anxious or afraid becuase I know He is always near, always here...

So when the world look at me, let them look and see, see His love, see His peace...

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Seeing you, being with you, loving you

Sitting in the lounge, I watch your every move and I am alert to every sound you make.
Never knew what it's like to have a father and be loved in your way... now I'm so happy, you are always around, and I just love being with you...
From the silence a mighty roar rises, the earth shakes and you look on in alarm as happiness burst from my lips. You ask me why I laugh and I only shake my head and say, I'm only laughing because I'm so happy loving you.

It's so different, not the same as the love for a lover, a mother, a brother or a sister. A love so deep and secure it shakes your roots.
When I leave your side my world is tilted, and tears burn my eyes... and my only comfort is the knowledge that we will be together again sometime time in the futher near.

So to watch you and follow you all around is calming in me, I just want to be a bit of peace in your life and I hope that I can learn all your knowldge and be able to apply it to my life...

You are apart of me, and I apart of you,
Seeing you, being with you and loving you... my life is complete...