Thursday, July 28, 2011

Life, fears and dealing with it...

Hey there!
So every once in a while someone finds out about something that terrifies you, or you find out that your friend is afraid of something like clowns or ants, even thunder and then you mock that person or that someone mocks you about it... Or tells you to grow up, but it is easier said than done...

A very wise woman (my lovely mother) once told me that usually that which irritates you most in someone else is usually something you detest in yourself, and that it is kind of like a mirror reflecting back to you... So careful next time you get annoyed at someone, for you might just be annoyed with yourself.

Anyway what is fears, fear is a stressful feeling that puts pressure on a person or animal and is commonly related to anxiety, it is usually connected to an incident in your past, and depending on how traumatic that incident or experience is could depend on wether it be called a phobia, just little fear or anxiety...

For example I hate thunder and lightning because when I was little my grandfather use to get us all worked up about it, also loud noises and flashing lights make me feel threatened and alone, see that is a fear but not really a good example,

Anna got stuck in an elevator during a power cut, it was dark and cold in the elevator and Anna was all alone... Suddenly Anna felt like she was suffocating and she felt cold with fear, she was having an anxiety attack. You see Anna was kidnapped when she was small on a dark stormy night, and left in a cellar alone for quite sometime... this triggered the anxiety attack when she was older and has planted a seed of fear in her heart...

Fear could also be shown in the form of respect, as we fear God. Someone once told me God speaks with a voice like thunder, and I replied that I would run away if He spoke to me like that, but come to think of it, I also respect God greatly to command such awesome power... to command lightning and thunder!!!

I used to be afraid of alot of things, blood, spiders,bees, thunder,pain and dark confined spaces... and yeah sure i still get abit shaky sometimes when I'm in a such a position to experience the above mentioned things, but I've learnt that yeah it's scary but if I don't learn to accept it in my life... Then how could I ever lead a normal life, I'd be to scared to go anywhere never mind stay alone on my own....

I must say, knowing in my heart there is a God who controls everything and Who is in total command of my life and everything I fear, I find myself in so much awe of Him that when I fix my eyes on Him and just focus on Him then I feel at peace and safe...

I believe in Jesus Christ my Saviour, I acknowedge that He is the Son of God and that He died and rose again, I accept His gift of life and I will forever be in awe of His mighty Name...

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Night night, sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite...

I actually have no idea what to write, I don't actually think I'm a writer, never mind a good one... but I'll let you be the judge of that...

My whole life I've kind of wandered around with feelings I can't explain, but of-course I'll try...
It has always seemed like I'm just floating about, seeing and hearing things as if it is al immagination, for some reason I feel abit detached from this world and like I see no real purpose in life it self, I really don't understand things and how anyone could really know what or whom is right or wrong.

 What makes one feel lonely in a crowd and what makes the world go round, I love being here in zambia but I must say I really miss home, where is home though, I don't feel like I belong any where anymore. I wish I knew all the answers to all the questions in life, but I don't...

I can't say what I want for what if its all just unreal, ever felt like the past was just a dream? Well sometimes things just seem so unreal like I'm not me, sometimes my own actions seem so far away so de-tached from me, sometimes it feels like my thoughts are not my own , I know it's weird and you think I'm crazy...

Well maybe I'm just tired and babbeling on about things that doesn't really make sense...

O well good night, sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite...